Month: May 2014

Everything Changes

/ Kelly / 1 Comment

Well… It’s been a while since my last post and there has been some exciting changes come about. I had been feeling very tired the past few weeks. And even worse than being tired, I was super unmotivated. I was afraid I had just lost my marbles and wasn’t adjusting well to all the recent down time. Come to find out, I’m just pregnant! I took five different tests,  all positive. Took me awhile to grasp the idea that this was really happening. But it is very exciting.

We had actually been trying for about a year, so this was not unplanned, but it was a bit unexpected. I say that because I had sort of come to the conclusion that it just wasn’t in the cards for us to have another child. But  apparently it is! It’s been really emotional for me, and nerve wracking, since I am much more acutely aware of all the things that could possibly go wrong now than I was with my first child. Plus I’m much older and not in nearly as good of shape as I was the first time around either!

My husband is really excited, as this will be his second child, but first baby! For those of you who don’t know (and I haven’t quite gotten that far into my installment series, My Crazy Stupendous Life yet), my husband recently adopted my son. He is an amazing dad and I can’t wait to share this experience with him. My son is also very excited. He had his initial reservations about the whole “baby” thing. He worried where he would fit into this equation and how his role as the only child would change, both very normal and valid concerns.  I assured him that this was a good thing and that he will still be my sweetheart and that we are all in this together. He is feeling much better about it and is already being a great big brother, even though I’ve told him a million times the baby is just a tiny little pea in a pod right now.

I don’t know exactly how far along I am yet, but I imagine it should be somewhere around five or six weeks, so still very early. I have an appointment on Friday for all the blood work and family history stuff and then will meet with my doctor soon afterwards.  Hopefully they will give me a clear due date so we can start planning. I know we are not out of the woods yet, but it is wonderful to think that this is really happening.

I will keep you posted on my progress,  but I don’t plan on turning this into a pregnancy journal. There are plenty of other places to see that sort of content. Until next time…

Some people are sad.

/ Kelly / Leave a comment

So I have had some recent drama-ish situations lately. Mostly having to do with family and personal issues. And it makes me sad. And upset. And angry even. But mostly sad. Because people act like they don’t know they are being selfish or uncaring or two-faced or just plain mean. And that is sad. Those people are SAD. I will tell you about them now. Not to continue the drama, but in the hopes that one of two things will happen: (1.) If you are one of these people, maybe you will learn to see things from another point of view. (2.) If you’re dealing with one of these people, maybe you will get some relief in knowing you are not alone.

Issue #1: Drama Mama. And the resulting rediculousness.
My son has been playing baseball for the past 8 years. T-ball, little league, minor league and now majors. We’ve dealt with crummy coaches, horrible parents, bullying, shut-outs, you name it. He loves baseball. Most of the time. He has his moments of laziness and frustration but for the most part he really enjoys it.
Well, this year he ended up on a team made up almost solely of kids from a rival school. And it was difficult, to say the least. He literally had one real friend on the team – a home schooled kid that he’d played for several years with. Of course, my kid sat the bench most games because he wasn’t one of the coaches “boys”. Which is another issue, completely. But it did wear on me that he wasn’t even given a fair shake. The biggest issue was with the bullying and trash talking. And worse,  the lack of anything being said or done about it by  the coaches. It was bad.
To make matters worse, the middle of the season, his coach pits him against his one friend on the team and made some poor decisions that ended up causing a rift between the two. The other kids mom ended up calling me and telling me the kid was quitting the team. She went on to say how she felt the whole situation was wrong and we needed to take a stand for our kids and not let them be treated so poorly. She practically begged us to join them in standing up for what was right. And we were on board, because if we weren’t then my kid would’ve been all by himself against a team of bullies. So my kid decided to quit the team too,  with some encouragement from myself. So we just called it a loss. We’d try again next season. The End.
Except that it wasnt. A few days later I get a message from another parent who knew what had happened, asking if my kid had went back to the team. Of course, he hadn’t. But someone had. Hmmm. I thought surely that was a mistake, so I asked the other parent about her kid. She beat around the bush and then finally admitted that he had gone back to playing. Now, understand me, it was her pleas that got us to quit. And her endless phone calls and texts a few days before that convinced me that we were doing the right thing. So, what happened?  I felt betrayed. Short-changed. Used. Manipulated. Lied to. She asked us to take a stand and then she backs down without even so much as a phone call? I heard it from some other parent with a  kid on a different team. Who does that? So now my kid is off the team,  and her kid is playing again. Really!? That night when I told my kid that his buddy had gone back to the team he said, “Oh really? That’s funny. Wasn’t his mom the one blowing your phone up about how WE had to stand our ground and that kids can’t be jerked around like that?” I’m so glad he can read between the lines like his momma. Apple & Tree. And as for that other mom… sad. Sad that she was so easily swayed and unable to stand firm in her convictions as a parent, and sad that she doesn’t even realize the impact of her actions.

Issue #2: Faux Family Friend. And why I’m completely over it. 
So I had lunch with a friend today, and she proceeded to tell me all about a guy that is supposed to be my dad’s friend. My dad got hurt at work a few months ago and has been working at getting his health issues sorted out.  Anyway, this guy goes to great lengths to come by and check on my dad, to call and check on him, encourage him, etc. Once upon a time he was my brothers very best friend. He worked for my dad for several years. He worked with my dad for several months before my dad’s injury. He is supposed to be a friend.
Well, at lunch today, there was a completely different story. I learned a long time ago not to put too much weight or faith in this guy. And I heard again about how he talks about my family, including my dad and his injuries,  behind our backs. It was sickening. And to make matters worse, he only spreads his drama and lies to the people who will listen and who want to hear it. Which says something pretty specific about his audience. It’s like a negativity-mill. He churns out whatever it is that everybody wants to hear. Each group of people get a different spin and a tailor-made yarn. He’s like the male version of an attention seeking drama queen.
I’ve tried to talk to my family about what a snake in the grass he really is, and I hope they realize it sooner than later. But it’s hard to believe something bad about somebody that you’ve put your trust into. Like I told my mom today, I would love to just rip him a new one and tell him exactly what I think of him and call him out on his lies and two-faced antics. But I have learned that it’s not my place, nor my responsibility to confront someone about their actions. Because God takes care of all that for you. He rights the wrongs and redeems the opressed. And it’s only a matter of time. So I’m letting it go. Don’t get me wrong, if I run into him, he’s liable to get way more than he bargained for, because I don’t have it in me to just pretend like I don’t know what’s really going on. But I refuse to seek him out just to speak my mind. Because that would require me expending my time and energy on him. And he’s worth neither. He’s just sad.

Opportunity Knocks.

/ Kelly / Leave a comment

So as you may already know, I am just a little over two months into my return to a career in selling real estate. Things started out fast, with me getting four listings in about the first week. Then I ended up getting a contract on a property that wasn’t even listed with an extended closing date and have been working with a few buyers. But no money yet. Which is frustrating. But it’s how this all works. The market here is pretty steady so that’s comforting. And once you get a successful closing, you get paid. And closings generally take about 30 days from date of contract. If you’re lucky. It’s all sort of complicated and scary and frustrating. And at first I had some serious adjustment issues with having so much free time on my hands after working an 8-5 for the past six years. But I’ve kind of grown to enjoy the scheduling freedom. I can water the grass in the morning. I don’t have to rush to be at the office at 8 a.m. I can pick up my kid from school and plan dinner on most nights. It’s the little things that have become the big things to me now. And I didn’t realize how much I have been enjoying the little stuff until this past Friday…

I have this friend who is in “media”. (I don’t really want to say exactly who or what for the time being. Mainly because there’s still some stuff up in the air.) She is one of my newer friends since we just met a few years ago through an organization I became involved with, and only last year did I really get to know her outside of the organization we both work with, by joining a civic club that she participates in. Anyway, she’s absolutely great. She’s laid back, smart, a go-getter, a multi-tasker, driven, and completely hilarious. All qualities that I sort of have in common with her. We are like peas in a really fun pod. And this past Friday she asked if I could talk a little bit once our meeting was over. So we sat down together and she basically offered me a job. It is very flattering that she feels I would be perfect for the position and that she thinks it would work into a pretty lucrative and exciting career in “media”. But all of the sudden I found myself feeling very afraid.

Not afraid of the job itself, but afraid of the commitment that it would entail. I have grown to really enjoy my down time over the past 60 days or so, and I don’t really know how the scheduling would work with trying to balance two full time jobs would be – even if they are both “flexible schedules”. I don’t want to give up on real estate by any means, and I don’t want another job taking away from what I’m able to do with the real estate stuff. I’m pretty good with prioritizing my responsibilities and I’m sure I could swing it, but at what cost? Would it be at the cost of my lazy mornings spent watering plants and grass and planning my to-do list, or my after-school time with my soon-t0-be no-longer-little son? I have to admit, the money part of the proposition sounds really nice. I see our bank account dwindling a little bit, day-by-day and it really has me kind of freaked out. But I know that the money will come with the real estate stuff. All in due time… And the hubby makes plenty of money to cover the bills and necessities, but I know it has to be on his mind too.

I don’t like living paycheck to paycheck. I did that for the past two decades, almost. Don’t get me wrong, it’s much better than being in debt up to your eyeballs or unable to make ends meet on your own (I lived both of those scenarios, too.). But there’s more to life than money. The prospect of having good benefits again, and a steady paycheck are very appealing but I guess I am just going to have to figure out all the details on what my schedule would really be. In my mind, the situation boils down to Money vs. Time. And I know that time is much more valuable than money. And that money can make your time spent a lot easier. So what’s the bigger payout? Do I choose money and relinquish some (or very possibly MOST) of my free time with my family? Or do I hold on to my free time at the expense of our bank accounts? Which is more selfish and self-serving? It’s a hard call. I haven’t even gotten all the details on the job yet and I’m already stressing out. But at the same time, this could be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to have a career that would be as financially rewarding as it is FUN! Just when I thought I had things all figured out, I get thrown a curveball. Absolutely par for the course. So what’s a girl to do??? To Be Continued…